Bravery

Whenever someone asks me what my strengths are, I always want to be able to say “bravery” as one of them.

And bravery for me is writing this blog post for all of y’all to read.

It’s national eating disorder awareness week.

As someone who has had some major eating issues in the past, and still frequently struggles with them, this is a sensitive subject.

Some would say “But wait! It brings awareness to the issue! Isn’t that a good thing?”

And I agree, it is. Things like this need to be talked about. Help needs to be sought.

But the hardest part of this is actually talking about the issue. Actually opening your mouth and saying “You know…I think I may have a problem.”

So as much as I want to loathe the signs our school’s cafeteria put up, as awkward as I feel when someone brings up food…

I can’t hate it.

Feeling the need to hide something like this means it’s an issue. It means it’s a problem that hasn’t yet been fully addressed. And in my case, it means it’s a work in progress.

Yes, I don’t eat enough.

Yes, I am aware of the problem.

And yes, I’m taking steps to fix it.

So let me take this moment to tell anyone that thinks they might be in the same boat that you are important. I didn’t think I was, and I let myself slowly diminish.

But the support I’ve gotten from the people who know my secret makes me realize that I mean something to them. As hard as it was for me to tell them for the first time, I’m glad I did. Because them wanting nothing more than to help and support me gives me the strength to remind myself to eat and keep myself disciplined.

When, through tears, I explained my problem to my best friend, he looked at me and said, “Thank you for telling me. That was very brave.”

Now, as I try to make my way through it, he tells me “You’re being very brave. I’m proud of you.”

So this is me saying to anyone that tells someone they trust about their struggle, to anyone that admits to themselves that maybe things aren’t quite right, and for anyone that decides to do something about it…

You are very brave.

And I am very proud of you.